Wednesday, October 8, 2014

On Being "Fake" (Or Why You Should Like What You Like)

I've been thinking about what it means to be "fake" or not a lot recently. I think it all started when I bought my new camera in early July. You see, I've been thinking about someone who used to be a friend because she was (and no doubt still is) into photography. 

But let's go back a bit. We were in high school and this friend started getting really into photography. She started using a camera and making interesting short videos. She would talk about cinematography and composition of a frame and all that a lot. 

The only problem is that I was young. My other friends were young, and behind her back we talked about how she was being "fake" because she just started getting into something she wasn't into before. In reality, I thought it was all really cool and I liked that she was trying something new. How else are you supposed to discover things that you love if you don't try something you've never tried before? 

But I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to seem like I was taking sides. When in fact I was and didn't know it. (Or maybe chose to ignore that.)

I think about that time and feel kind of guilty for not saying anything. Now I know better. Now I know that it's good to stand up and say what you think, even if it means that one of your friends gets mad at you for a day; and that being interested in many different things is wonderful and fun. If I hadn't discovered blogging I wouldn't have found something I love. 

And if you're wondering, I didn't lose her as a friend because of this. We remained friends for a few years after high school, but eventually parted ways. But that's a different story. 

Do you have anything friendship-wise that you regret?

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28 comments:

  1. This is such a cute story! I cannot recall any right now... but it's funny how teenagers think :)

    xoxo

    Novelstyle

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  2. I totally agree...

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  3. In high school I never really spoke my mind, I always went with whatever the popular girls thought because I wanted to be in their group. And I was but I regret not showing my geekier side more. I feel like I missed out on having a lot of nerd friends that I could have done a bunch of lame things with... lol All the popular girls wanted to do was party and get drunk, and all I wanted to do was go home and play video games.. lol I wish I had just been myself more!

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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  4. Great topic. I definitely remember being part of similar conversations in high school. It's strange and funny that teenagers see getting into a new hobby as being "fake."

    I had a real life Mean Girls experience in middle school. I desperately wanted to fit in with the popular girls, so I joined their little group. But all they did was talk crap about each other, so to maintain a false sense of bonding, I took part in it and they eventually used that against me. It taught me a lot about friendships and people in general, so I don't necessarily regret it, but it's not fun to think back on it.

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  5. This is a great topic to discuss. Throughout time I "declutter". I try to find new things I'm interested in and cut out anything that doesn't make me feel like I'm moving forward in life. I have also cut out friends that more or less stand still. I'm not saying cut out resulting in hurt feelings, but more like allowing the friendship to fizzle out.

    I think it's beyond wonderful that you now say what you think. I believe that I have grown into that as well. When I was younger it was tough for me to not try and please everyone. It is much better to say how you feel, and also stand up for people when they are trying to explore life on their own terms.

    ♥ Naomi Starry Eyes + Coffee Cups

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  6. One of my friends called another friend of mine fake for wearing a band tee that I guess they normally didn't listen to...I just said, "or maybe she just likes the band" and left it at that. I'm glad you didn't have to lose your friend over that.

    xo erica
    seaofbloomingdreams.blogspot.com

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  7. I'm sure we all have a story or too about something like this. High school is such a weird time, I wish I could have known half of the things I do now. Chalk them up to life experience, I guess. Glad you didn't lose a friend over this.


    -Chelsea
    chelsandthecity.blogspot.com

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  8. oh those childhood days , i was the same , was scared to give my opinion on anything , wanted to be a part of my group and eventually understood pleasing anyone is not the right way , since than i have been saying what i feel

    i really like the idea of the post

    Keep in touch

    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com

    www.indianbeautydiary.com

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  9. Oh man, how I used to be just like that. I definitely have some regrets when it comes to friendships, but it all works out in the end :)

    xo,
    Angela

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  10. I was the friend that was called a fake a lot actually, because I always wanted to try new things! Although, I was very apathetic about it, and that seemed to make people even more angry, so that ruined some friendships, but oh well! Things worked out fine in the end!

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  11. I had embraced being who I was by high school, but yes, I definitely judged people about new things. And while I do regret it now, I am still in touch with a lot of those girls and we have laughed about how different we all were in high school (and the good ways we are still the same!). I think sometimes judging like that is unavoidable, but I feel the important thing is being able to grow past it!

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  12. It's so great to develop new interests and learn new things, but at school it can lead to nasty comments. I'm glad you stayed friends.

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  13. I didn't think she was fake because she liked something that she never liked before. It was because she acted like she was an expert when she had only just started developing an interest. Plus, I already thought she was fake because she would tell me that she loved something (like a movie) and then a minute later tell someone else that she hated it.

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  14. Yeah, I think that's ultimately one of the reasons we all started to drift away from her.

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  15. Totally agree! It's always fun trying new things!

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  16. Glad I'm not the only one. Thanks!

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  17. It's great that you tried new things and I wish I'd tried more things back then without feeling like I might be judged.

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  18. Yeah, I feel like we all go through this at some point.

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  19. Yeah, I agree with that. Sometimes you need to move on in a way that's not hurtful. As time goes on we all change and grow and sometimes certain people and things don't fit as well in our life "puzzle" as they used to. Thanks, Naomi!

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  20. Ugh, I hate when all someone does is talk shit about others. There's definitely a difference between venting and talking about someone behind their back. Not fun at all.

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  21. Thanks for sharing! I wish I'd been more myself too!

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  22. Sorry to hear that. I have had a friend problem once. It's hard to see the big picture when your in the middle of all of it but looking back I am glad what happen happened because it showed me alot.

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  23. I regret a lot of friendship-related things from Junior High and High School. I think a lot of it is part of the age and I had a manipulative friend who was a bad influence. I don't like the way I treated some of my other friends (including Emilie, the one you met!) and I wish I had the wisdom I have now back then. It's true what you're saying here. =]

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Have a lovely day!
~Sara ♥

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