It all stemmed from an incident at my dad's house, where I had to rush to someone's aid when they were pretty badly hurt since my dad wasn't there. I'm talking huge open wound that was covered in dirt and bleeding profusely and you could almost see the bone. I knew exactly what to use, how to clean the wound, how to use my dad's medical supplies, and how to keep the person calm when the woman was hysterical crying because it hurt so badly.
Maybe it seems ridiculous to consider changing your whole life because of one situation, but it had a strong impact on me. I realized afterwards how oddly calm and clearheaded I had been and how it had given me such an adrenaline rush. I was happy and dare I say pleased with myself that I had helped someone, that I had been the one to come to their aid.
It made me realize that I could, and maybe should, help people.
But then I thought more about it. Of course, becoming a doctor is an honor and it comes with lots of prestige, but could I really do it? It's hard work, yes, and I have no problem with that. There's lots of school involved; I have no problem with that either. What I did have a problem with was the expectations and the fact that people would be depending me on everyday. And based on what kind of doctor I became, they might even be putting their life in my hands.
That one incident had happened so quickly that all I did was react. I didn't have time to think about it. But if I became a doctor it would be on my mind all the time. I would worry day and night if I had made the right call for my patients. What if I should've done this when I did that -- that sort of thing.
I'm not good at having that sort of weight on my shoulders. The idea of having people depend on me made my stomach drop. Maybe all doctors feel this way, but I knew I couldn't deal with it all the time.
Honestly, I get anxious when I have too many assignments for school due at the same time. I break out and can't eat. If I became a doctor, I would perpetually look like a teenager and waste away. Not a good look.
So in the end I decided to stick with creative writing. A calm life is the path I'm going to take. At least for now. If I decide to become a doctor at forty, then that's what I'll do, but right now I'm perfectly happy.
Just know that if you take a bad fall and I'm around, I got your back.
This is such an interesting story - and gives a lot of insight into your personality! I have to admit, it never occurred to me to do anything non-creative as a career until I'd already left university and found myself doing a career that wasn't creative at all; I've considered medical school a few times since by the time committment is too much for me, sadly.
ReplyDeletexox,
Cee
That was really interesting!Nice to know you more...I am an empathetic so it was impossible for me to be a doctor.
ReplyDeleteYeah, being a doctor comes with HUGE responsibility! I can't stand the sight of blood though so it was never an option for me. :) PS Your little intro is up on my blog today!
ReplyDelete-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
JCrew Giveaway!
Yeah, being a doctor has so much responsibility to it. I love medical stuff, but I couldn't be one! I really like your blog! I'm glad that I found it! It would be nice if you could stop by my blog sometime too (I'm from England) as I post my outfits, personal style, likes and much more :) :)
ReplyDeleteRaindrops of Sapphire
I'm a bioengineer and was actually pre-med as of a week ago, but it's my last year and I realized that I don't think I want to do that. It is a huge responsibility. I currently work in a spinal cord injury lab, and my boss always reminds me that there are tons of ways to help people even if you're not a doctor. So hopefully I made the right decision (for me of course)!
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday!
Grace
A Southern Drawl
How interesting! I never would've known that about you! It's amazing how certain things, just little events or actions can make you think about what you might do differently, or where your strengths lie. I would fold under the pressure, myself ^^ I stick firmly beside 5-year old me's resolve to be a Jell-O maker, whatever I thought that was.
ReplyDeleteThat's such a beautiful story. Honestly, becoming a doctor isn't anyone's game. I remember meeting one surgeon who told me that you basically have to be emotionally detached if you are to survive in this industry. Yes, people's lives are depending on you, and yes, sometimes they might not make it, and that has a huge impact on our lives. But good for you! A lot of people shy away because they're scared of seeing blood, but your decision was profound. I think, it is the most important profession!
ReplyDeleteWWW.ROXTHEFOX.COM
I never knew you wanted to be a doctor! You just seem so much more of a writer and artist. I think you could be a nurse though! you would still be helping people, but with out the pressures of being a doctor.
ReplyDeleteI thought about becoming a dentist for a while. But I knew i needed to take organic chem, and that was literally the HARDEST class i had ever taken. I don't think i could even pass that class, which i would need for dental school.
This was beautifully written. I can't imagine the stress that doctors go through on a daily basis. I care about people so much that I wonder if I would be able to deal with a loss or a mistake.
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that you had an experience where you helped someone in need :)
♥ Naomi {Starry Eyes + Coffee Cups}
Dearest Sara, I can imagine that this was a really hard decision for you! But I share your opinion that a doctor has really so many responsibility and one mistake can cost a life ...
ReplyDeleteI´m sure that creative writing is perfect for you because I love it really how you are writing <3 Wish you many success and satisfaction with your decision!
xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
www.dressedwithsoul.blogspot.de
well i can totally see why the idea came to mind Sara! you're like a modern day Florence Nightingale with that rescue at your dad's house. i don't think i could maintain my cool long enough to rip open the bandage wrapper. not very good in crunch time situations unfortch, i'm a crumbler but you on the other hand step right in to save the day :) awesome stuff!
ReplyDeleteas for the later in life option, there's always the ability to change suits and become whatever you want to be. leave the door open i say, happiness in discovering your destiny lades!! ♥
That must have been a really difficult decision, I could see why you were thinking about it. I probably would have been freaking out on the inside, not calm at all. But I agree! there's always time to change later in life:)
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